Let's be honest.

Yes, this blog has really, really, gone  down hill.  Sigh.  I remember the days when posting was on my short list of things to do.  Now, it hasn't even made the long list.  The good news is I've been very busy. That is also the bad news.  Somehow this Fall I became a working mom.  It's been two years since I officially started my business, but up until now, it really was a part time/when I have time thing.  Well, orders picked up, more requests came in, and I just kept saying yes.  But here's the thing... I'm still a full time mom.  Yes, Aubrey is in school most of the day now, but Henry is still home more than he is at pre-school.  I'm still the one that has to get everyone where they need to be on time, the one that needs to feed everyone, clean, play, console, make appointments, do laundry, document milestones, etc.  I have volunteer commitments too with the Junior League and at the kids' schools.  I am also a Deacon at our church.  Plus, I've been undergoing alternative treatment for my aching back and hip (and it's not fun I tell you).

So, I am going to admit that I let things get out of control.  I thought I could do it all.  I want to be able to do it all.  I still want to be the one to do all of those things I mentioned above. But the reality is this...  I was staying up some nights until 1 or 2am to get work done.  Family "meals" have become somewhat of a joke.  Brian and I are lucky if we get any time to really talk after the kids are in bed, and when we do, it's usually me saying that I am so swamped and stressed and sad that I can't get everything done.  The funny part about all of this was that when I started my business, it was designed to bring more joy to my life.  I was in the throws of toddlerhood.  It was exhausting!  I didn't (and still don't) enjoy the daily grind of household chores, and I needed some sort of outlet of my own.  But I did not NOT want to be a stay at home mom.  I did not want to hand over control of the parenting part of my day.  I would gladly hand over the cleaning, which I have finally done on a regular basis, but what ended up happening was that I started doing almost everything I was doing before AND building a business.  Initially the joy and excitement of sharing my talents carried me along.  But the balance has shifted, and basically, there is no balance.

On paper, I had a very successful year (especially considering we didn't pay a nanny, or for childcare for me to operate the business).  But my body and mind tell a very different story.  I completed my holiday orders last week. Whew.  That is when it hit me.   I hadn't started Christmas shopping.  I hadn't taken any decent photographs of my own family this fall for our Christmas card.  I hadn't updated this blog since SEPTEMBER!  I hadn't had a relaxed playdate with my kids in who knows how long.  I had missed out on time with friends. My whole body hurt, I was completely exhausted, my immune system was down, and I ended up in bed for two straight days this weekend with strep throat. I am crying "uncle!"

Whoever said that women can have it all lied.  LIED I tell you.  No one can have it all.  Everyone has to sacrifice.  We are all in too much of a hurry.  We all think we are in control.  I pray that this Christmas will not come and go in a hurry.  I want to cherish this time off with my family.  There is so much suffering in the world.  Why do I create my own suffering when I can choose some moments of peace?  Can you tell I have been reading a book about being a hurried mom?  (It's great, by the way... Mitten Strings for God, and it's even better that I have time to read it).  I love being a mom. It is HARD, but I do love it.  I love being creative, but it doesn't have to make every other part of my life more difficult.  I can find a balance, and I'm going to take some time this next month to make sure I don't get completely off track again.  I'm going to stop putting pressure on myself to do it all.  So if I don't update this blog that much... oh well.  Right?  Going to take some time to live again: to play cars on the floor with Henry, to listen to Aubrey read to me (and REALLY listen), to pray more, to love my husband more, and to just LIVE more.  I hope you will too.

Merry Christmas!

Henry goes to Pre-K

Henry just started school at St. Matthew's for what will probably be his last year of pre-school .  After A LOT of thought and prayer, we decided to send Henry to a new school for pre-k.  It was so hard to leave Covenant after so many years.  It just seemed like the right move for Henry.  He is in a four day pre-k class and has two dedicated teachers. They are both so nice and have made Henry feel more than welcome.  A huge bonus this year is that the school is only 1 block from our house!  I can now walk both kids to school.  This is HUGE.  Henry knew that he was changing schools last year, and would always wave to his new school.  As the time drew nearer, I could tell he was a little apprehensive.  But to be honest, he would have been that way going back to Covenant too.  Anytime we had a break from school, he would feel a little uneasy about going back.  For the few weeks leading up to the start of school, he kept saying he didn't want to go.  But on the morning of, he was up and excited and telling me to come on!  We walked with our neighbor Hannah who is also in his class.  I was so thankful that he knew at least one other child.  As we got closer, he started dragging a bit.  Once to his room, he unpacked his things just like always and found his place at the table.  The teacher was so thoughtful to put him by Hannah.  He didn't skip a beat.  We haven't had any tears, but he does hold on to my hand a bit longer some days.  That's OK with me.

We are excited for the year ahead and can't wait to see how much he grows!

Looking excited!

 Right outside his room. Not so thrilled now.

And now we're getting right to work!  

First Grade

I am so behind on all my posts, but if I wait to catch up, it could be forever!  So I will be posting some things out of order.  Thank you for understanding.  I'm sure that was at the top of your worry list today.

Anyway, last Monday was Aubrey's first day of school.  I can't believe we have a "grader" now.  I have to say, the school year kind of snuck up on us.  We had a REALLY great summer, our first real summer, and it just flew by without warning.  I think we are ready for routine and for some sibling separation, but I don't think any of us are ready for the crazy early mornings and busy afternoons.  Aubrey never once complained last year about school, so I was a little surprised when she didn't seem super excited about going back.  I think she was just sad that summer was over.  There were no pre first day nerves this year though, at least not that I could tell, because her teacher is the same.  Mrs. Langham "looped up" with the entire class, so she has all her old buddies in her class again.  There is one change.  Mrs. Langham is co-teaching this year with Mrs. Hobbs. She will teach them science, math and social studies, and Mrs. Langham will focus on Language Arts.  We are so excited about this!  We love Mrs. Langham and Aubrey's reading has come so far with her, but I think it will help bring some excitement to Aubrey's day to have Mrs. Hobbs.  She is a hoot and the kids just love her. Because she already knew her class and teacher, I think it just seemed like a continuation of last year to her.  No big deal.  Don't get me wrong, she was still up early on day one and excited to go!

Anyway, we made our first day of school walk this year with our neighbors.  Clara is starting Kinder.  Henry, Aubrey and Clara have become so close and I love that we can start our day off walking with friends.  Henry is just bummed he doesn't get to stay. I'm hoping that means he'll be ready to stay next year!

Here's to another great year!

CHAMPS

I just realized I never posted about Aubrey's championship swim meet (CHAMPS).  It was held at the UT swim Center.  I hadn't been there since I was a kid, and it's just as impressive as I remember.  We had been watching the Olympic Trials, and it was fun to see some familiar names up on the wall.

Aubrey didn't seem too phased by the surroundings. She happily went with her age group down to the pool deck.  Unlike other meets, only the age group parent volunteer is allowed with the girls down on deck since there is limited space and so many teams.  I have to admit, I didn't like that one bit.  I kept worrying she would miss her heat, or that she wouldn't like the way her swim cap fits, or that she would forget to eat or drink.  Yes, I have control issues.  I just wanted her to have a good experience.  I had heard some nightmare stories about kids loosing it because of the noise, etc.

Anyway, we waited up in the stands for the meet to start.  I kept hearing the call for the 6 and under relay, but I did not see Aubrey's group going to line up.  They called "last call" and I still didn't see them.  I was certain that the age group parents couldn't hear the call and she was going to miss her very first event.  Finally, I saw them rushing over to their lanes.  I spotted Aubrey and then I noticed Coach Sandy was down on her level giving what appeared to be a pep talk.

 I said to Brian..."Is Aubrey crying?  It looks like something is wrong?" Then we both decided I was wrong.  No way was she panicking.  She never does that before swimming.  Aubrey was swimming the 2nd leg of the relay and Coach Sandy was still talking with her as the first swimmer was making her way to Aubrey.

 Right on time, Aubrey dove in and swam.  Whew, I thought... she's fine.  Then she just stopped, treaded some water and started again.  Very unlike her.  Right after she touched the wall, I say Coach Sandy pull her out of the water and CARRY her back to her age group.  Then I was sure something was wrong.  I rushed down the the bottom of the bleachers where I could yell to her.  Coach saw me and told me to come down.  She met me with a pass to come on deck. Poor Aubrey was hyperventilating.  Well... it turns out she had tripped on something on the way to the ready bench and busted up her toe.  Of course, there was blood, and with blood comes a panic from her and the UT pool staff.  They told her she HAD to have it bandaged or she couldn't swim.  Well, those of you who know Aubrey know the girl can't stand band-aids.  Aubrey was freaking out over a bandage on her toe, not the actual injury.  Coach Sandy told her if she swam, she would take that silly bandage off the minute she got out of the pool.  And so she did. She snuck a pair of scissors over to her and cut it off.  As if Coach Sandy didn't have anything else to think about!!!  Just one more reason we love her.

Anyway,  I was so proud of her for swimming that relay, even if the drama was a little overkill.  I think that is when I realized that the Champs meet was in fact a little overwhelming for her.  But she calmed down quickly as I held her. Coach told me just to stay with her.  She went on to win her freestyle heat. Then, she blew her backstroke heat away.  She didn't get a heat ribbon or the 1st place time though.  At champs, they use the real timers on the bulkhead of the pool.  Aubrey had never had to touch a specific place before and she didn't hit in on the right spot, so of course, the time didn't stop right away.  We didn't care.  I was just so proud of her for swimming.

We are all a bit sad that the swim season is over.  It was so much fun and I loved seeing Aubrey so excited about something.  Way to go girl!

I put all three races together in this clip.  I just realized you can't see the first race at all.  Oh well. I had to reduce the size so blogger would post it.

Kitchen renovation complete

My Aunt recently reminded me that I hadn't posted photos of our new kitchen. Yes, we started remodeling our kitchen almost exactly one year ago.  I will say that most of the work was completed by the end of August, but with any DIY project, some parts can linger on.  I think it was December before the trash drawer was complete. I wanted to post "after" pictures when it was perfectly complete.  Of course, that will probably never happen.  Nothing is perfect.  But it is pretty much complete... although I still have one spot lacking a piece of art, we still haven't replaced the door to the laundry room, and some of the appliances still need to be replaced.  In the end, considering our small budget and the amount of work we had to do, I couldn't be happier with how it turned out.  It is definitely my favorite room in the house, which is a good thing considering the amount of time I spend in there feeding the family!  

 Before

Right after we moved in...

During

After!!!!! We ran a gas line to the island, refinished the floor, painted the cabinets, installed a new sink and cooktop, painted the walls, and replaced the countertops and backsplash. And I do mean we.  The only thing we did not do ourselves was the countertops.

I had been eyeing gooseneck dual handle faucets for a long time.  I just couldn't handle their price.  I must have looked at a thousand faucets online and just couldn't pull the trigger.  I was at Home Depot for something else and just decided to take a peak.  I was almost certain they wouldn't have one, and if they did, it wouldn't have solid brass fittings, etc (I told you I spent too long looking at faucets.)  Imagine my surprise when I found this bad boy for under our budget!  Home Depot, I will never doubt you again.

Brian questioned my choice of a single basin sink, but I think he is coming around.  He argued that it makes it harder to wash the dishes since you can't fill up one side for washing and rinse the dishes in the other.  I pointed out that the dishwasher does most of the washing around here (that is me, and the kitchenaid), so I won out.  I love being able to easily wash large pots and pans, and this thing is indestructible!  It's made form crushed granite and is nearly impossible to stain or scratch.  

After all my efforts to avoid granite... may I present Sand Wave granite.  I like to think it's the granite for people who don't love granite.  I really do love it.  Very soft and neutral and way more budget friendly than the natural Quartzite I fell in love with... and it never looks dirty!

I'm not a fan of the ceiling fan, and since it blows the flames around on the cooktop when it's on, I'm not sure it will stick around.  But in TX, you kind of need it when it's 108 outside and you have to use the oven.

I had decided that since we went with the granite, I could splurge a little on the backsplash.  We didn't need that much of it after all.  I had found the perfect calcutta gold marble that looked great with the countertops.  But the over researcher in me decided there must be a way to have what I wanted at a more reasonable price.  Low and behold, I found this asian statuary marble that actually looked better (less creamy) for 1/3 of the cost!  Score.  

 By the way, don't let anyone tell you that those mosaic sheets of tile are easy to install.  As soon as you place it on the mud, the tiny little gaps start to squish together.  We had to go crazy with the spacers at warp speed.

I found this iron and burlap light at the Round Top flea market.

This is my favorite spot.  I dream of drinking coffee and reading the paper here one day.  For now, I quickly scarf down some food, clean up the spilled milk and cereal and get ready to taxi the kids around. But it is bright and sunny and I made that middle pillow.  Talent, I tell you. 

This is where I now burn most of our food.  It is powerful and I can't seem to remember that.

We are still waiting for the old ovens to die before replacing them.  They were a lovely shade of cream until I did some investigating and realized that the metal fronts could be disassembled.  Then I ran straight for Lowes and bought a can of appliance paint.  Who knew.  Seems there is a spray paint for everything.

I love the wall color (BM Revere Pewter). Thank you Shannon for testing every shade of gray so I didn't have to.  The old intercom system stayed. It kind of fits in now.  I made the frame thingie on the right and swiped the birdcage mirror from my mom.  

The cabinets were very solid, but boxy. They didn't have any molding.  I can't believe the difference a little trim can make. 

I spent another chunk of time trying to figure out what to do with the kitchen table.  We loved our table. It was a steal of an English antique that we had bought when we first got married. Only problem... it was square.  Didn't work so well with the window seat.  But who can spend a ton of money on a new table when you are out of money.  Well, enter Craigs List.  For $20 (I think) I scored this oval table that is the perfect fit!  It had a not so attractive bleached pine butcher block top.  I wanted it to work with my two chairs I was so happy to find at the outlets.  I have to say, this may have been my best DIY project ever.  I don't know how I managed to get it to look right, but somehow I did. So for $20 plus two small cans of stain, I got a french country table that would sell for hundreds if not thousands.  That's what I tell myself anyway.  

A WW1 plaque that once lived with my parents, a silver plate trophy and dish from the local antique mall, and a fish print I also found at Round Top. The one "new" item is the plate from Anthropology.  

  

That blank wall to the right of the cabinets is longing for some art. Just not sure what.  Some pops of color maybe. I'm thinking a Judi Goolsby original might work.

 That magnet board caused me all kinds of heartache.  I wanted a place for the kids to play while I cook but couldn't find one the right size in zinc or steel.  So, I bought three small sheet of metal and Brian mounted them to a piece of scrap wood that I painted.  It works for now. They haven't really used it, and I spend a lot of time picking up magnets.

A thrift find and a little white paint, and voila... Texas art.  

The best part of the kitchen is not what it looks like. My favorite thing is gathering here with family and friends.  As I'm writing this post, I feel a little strange.  While I am proud of our project, I do not want to brag or be tacky or trivial. Truth is, we were very lucky to have a working kitchen.  The new one is great, but it doesn't' make or break us.  Anyway, I don't want to get all philosophical (it is 12:30am after all... WHAT... I need to go to bed).  I feel very blessed and thankful. 

Happy 4th Birthday Henry

Yes, another year has gone by and once again I neglected to post about Henry's birthday on time. 3 was a big year for our little boy and I'm amazed by how much he has grown.  He potty trained.  He went to pre-school three days a week. He learned to count to 20.  He is working on his ABCs. He saw his first movie in a theater. He stopped sucking his thumb. He gave up naps. He took a soccer class.  He is showing more independence with getting dressed and bathing.  Don't get me wrong, he still likes mom to baby him, a lot.  He went from speaking only a few words in a sentence to being able to tell a long story.  He still struggles with his vocabulary sometimes,  but there is no doubt he comprehends and can express himself.  I still really enjoy having one on one time with him when Aubrey is at school, but I can tell he's ready to get more involved in his own things, instead of being drug around with me or to Aubrey's activities. It's really fun to see him grow up, even though i wish he could stay my sweet baby forever!

I conducted our birthday interview, and this year he could actually answer.  It was pretty funny how some of his answers where the same as Aubrey's.  He just loves her so much and wants to be like her!  She can make him madder than a hornet, but if she is willing, he will gladly play with her over most everyone else!  Anway, here are his answers...

What is your favorite food?

A: Shrimp Enchiladas

What is your favorite book?

A: Bad guys

What is your favorite color?

A: Blue and turquoise

What is your favorite song?

A: Don't have one

What is your favorite toy?

A: Bad guys

What is your favorite thing about Pre-School?

A: I love Ms. Bonnie

What is your favorite movie/show?

A: Polar Express

What is your favorite game?

A: Shoots and Ladders

What is your favorite thing to wear?

A: Thing 2 Shirt

Who do you miss?

A: Jane Ann

Who is your favorite sister?

A: Aubrey

Who do you love?

A: mommy and daddy

What was the best part about being 3?

A: don't know

What do you want to be when you grow up?

A: Batman. No... The Joker 

Who is your best friend?

A: Samuel and Jane Ann

Henry's birthday fell on Memorial day this year, so we had his party the day prior.  I had "won" a soccer party in a silent auction and thought he would be thrilled with that.  He really loves kicking the ball around and wants to play on a real team.  Turns out he really wanted a Transformer party.  Too bad buddy!  Ha.  Once I started making his cake, he was super excited.  Most of his good buddies were there, and although most lost interest and ended up on the playground, they had a great time!  Happy Birthday sweet boy.