Colorado, Aug 2012

We are back from a fantastic trip to beautiful Colorado (yes, I started this in August and it's now Jan 2013, and I will be posting about our 2nd trip to Colorado soon).  I really do think that part of my heart is always there.  I was born there, visited a lot growing up, worked at a Young Life camp there one summer in college, lived there again for a brief stint as an adult, and will jump at any chance to go back.

My parents take their Airstream to a place called Priest Gulch every August.  This year we decided to tag along and rented a small cabin at the same campground.  We were near a tiny town called Rico on the Delores River (not too far from Telluride).  The location was absolutely beautiful.  The San Juan National Forest was all around, and the mountains were breathtaking.

We spent a lot of time in the car this trip, which wasn't ideal, but the views were so incredible it was worth just about every minute.  We took some hikes, played in the river, went fishing, roasted marshmallows, rode the gondola in Telluride twice, spent the day at Hidden Lake with some of my parents' friends, went horseback riding, and even took the kids swimming at the public pool (in the rain).  It was a fantastic week.

We were sad to come home, but we are so thrilled to know that we will be back in the area more often. My parents bought a cabin on the most beautiful mountain lake, Trout Lake, so we will surely spend a lot of time there from here on out.

The Delores River from our cabin porch

Exploring the Priest Gulch Campground

Our cabin from the other side of the river

Fishing the Delores. No luck this year.

Aubrey's first real trail ride! She was hooked.  

Another great hike.

Many of you have commented about the setting for our Christmas card.  These photos were taken at a place called Hidden Lake, HIGH up in the mountains. My parents have friends with a cabin there, surrounded my national forest, that is only accessible in the summer.  It was a bumpy drive up but worth every bump.  

Henry outside their cabin

On their porch.

Fishing on Hidden Lake

Down, yes down, the mountain at 10,000 feet is the amazing Trout Lake. My parent's new cabin sits on the south side, which is just out of frame to the right...

Trout Lake before an afternoon shower

Telluride is a very family friendly place and I can't wait to take more advantage of that.  They have the only free gondola in the US!

Bunggggggggeeeeeeeeeee at the Mountain Village. Only grandparents would say yes to the kids' plea.

Hike to Hope Lake (above the tree line). I think I went to bed at 5pm that night.

What an INCREDIBLE day and view

Our last night by the fire.

Let's be honest.

Yes, this blog has really, really, gone  down hill.  Sigh.  I remember the days when posting was on my short list of things to do.  Now, it hasn't even made the long list.  The good news is I've been very busy. That is also the bad news.  Somehow this Fall I became a working mom.  It's been two years since I officially started my business, but up until now, it really was a part time/when I have time thing.  Well, orders picked up, more requests came in, and I just kept saying yes.  But here's the thing... I'm still a full time mom.  Yes, Aubrey is in school most of the day now, but Henry is still home more than he is at pre-school.  I'm still the one that has to get everyone where they need to be on time, the one that needs to feed everyone, clean, play, console, make appointments, do laundry, document milestones, etc.  I have volunteer commitments too with the Junior League and at the kids' schools.  I am also a Deacon at our church.  Plus, I've been undergoing alternative treatment for my aching back and hip (and it's not fun I tell you).

So, I am going to admit that I let things get out of control.  I thought I could do it all.  I want to be able to do it all.  I still want to be the one to do all of those things I mentioned above. But the reality is this...  I was staying up some nights until 1 or 2am to get work done.  Family "meals" have become somewhat of a joke.  Brian and I are lucky if we get any time to really talk after the kids are in bed, and when we do, it's usually me saying that I am so swamped and stressed and sad that I can't get everything done.  The funny part about all of this was that when I started my business, it was designed to bring more joy to my life.  I was in the throws of toddlerhood.  It was exhausting!  I didn't (and still don't) enjoy the daily grind of household chores, and I needed some sort of outlet of my own.  But I did not NOT want to be a stay at home mom.  I did not want to hand over control of the parenting part of my day.  I would gladly hand over the cleaning, which I have finally done on a regular basis, but what ended up happening was that I started doing almost everything I was doing before AND building a business.  Initially the joy and excitement of sharing my talents carried me along.  But the balance has shifted, and basically, there is no balance.

On paper, I had a very successful year (especially considering we didn't pay a nanny, or for childcare for me to operate the business).  But my body and mind tell a very different story.  I completed my holiday orders last week. Whew.  That is when it hit me.   I hadn't started Christmas shopping.  I hadn't taken any decent photographs of my own family this fall for our Christmas card.  I hadn't updated this blog since SEPTEMBER!  I hadn't had a relaxed playdate with my kids in who knows how long.  I had missed out on time with friends. My whole body hurt, I was completely exhausted, my immune system was down, and I ended up in bed for two straight days this weekend with strep throat. I am crying "uncle!"

Whoever said that women can have it all lied.  LIED I tell you.  No one can have it all.  Everyone has to sacrifice.  We are all in too much of a hurry.  We all think we are in control.  I pray that this Christmas will not come and go in a hurry.  I want to cherish this time off with my family.  There is so much suffering in the world.  Why do I create my own suffering when I can choose some moments of peace?  Can you tell I have been reading a book about being a hurried mom?  (It's great, by the way... Mitten Strings for God, and it's even better that I have time to read it).  I love being a mom. It is HARD, but I do love it.  I love being creative, but it doesn't have to make every other part of my life more difficult.  I can find a balance, and I'm going to take some time this next month to make sure I don't get completely off track again.  I'm going to stop putting pressure on myself to do it all.  So if I don't update this blog that much... oh well.  Right?  Going to take some time to live again: to play cars on the floor with Henry, to listen to Aubrey read to me (and REALLY listen), to pray more, to love my husband more, and to just LIVE more.  I hope you will too.

Merry Christmas!

Henry goes to Pre-K

Henry just started school at St. Matthew's for what will probably be his last year of pre-school .  After A LOT of thought and prayer, we decided to send Henry to a new school for pre-k.  It was so hard to leave Covenant after so many years.  It just seemed like the right move for Henry.  He is in a four day pre-k class and has two dedicated teachers. They are both so nice and have made Henry feel more than welcome.  A huge bonus this year is that the school is only 1 block from our house!  I can now walk both kids to school.  This is HUGE.  Henry knew that he was changing schools last year, and would always wave to his new school.  As the time drew nearer, I could tell he was a little apprehensive.  But to be honest, he would have been that way going back to Covenant too.  Anytime we had a break from school, he would feel a little uneasy about going back.  For the few weeks leading up to the start of school, he kept saying he didn't want to go.  But on the morning of, he was up and excited and telling me to come on!  We walked with our neighbor Hannah who is also in his class.  I was so thankful that he knew at least one other child.  As we got closer, he started dragging a bit.  Once to his room, he unpacked his things just like always and found his place at the table.  The teacher was so thoughtful to put him by Hannah.  He didn't skip a beat.  We haven't had any tears, but he does hold on to my hand a bit longer some days.  That's OK with me.

We are excited for the year ahead and can't wait to see how much he grows!

Looking excited!

 Right outside his room. Not so thrilled now.

And now we're getting right to work!  

First Grade

I am so behind on all my posts, but if I wait to catch up, it could be forever!  So I will be posting some things out of order.  Thank you for understanding.  I'm sure that was at the top of your worry list today.

Anyway, last Monday was Aubrey's first day of school.  I can't believe we have a "grader" now.  I have to say, the school year kind of snuck up on us.  We had a REALLY great summer, our first real summer, and it just flew by without warning.  I think we are ready for routine and for some sibling separation, but I don't think any of us are ready for the crazy early mornings and busy afternoons.  Aubrey never once complained last year about school, so I was a little surprised when she didn't seem super excited about going back.  I think she was just sad that summer was over.  There were no pre first day nerves this year though, at least not that I could tell, because her teacher is the same.  Mrs. Langham "looped up" with the entire class, so she has all her old buddies in her class again.  There is one change.  Mrs. Langham is co-teaching this year with Mrs. Hobbs. She will teach them science, math and social studies, and Mrs. Langham will focus on Language Arts.  We are so excited about this!  We love Mrs. Langham and Aubrey's reading has come so far with her, but I think it will help bring some excitement to Aubrey's day to have Mrs. Hobbs.  She is a hoot and the kids just love her. Because she already knew her class and teacher, I think it just seemed like a continuation of last year to her.  No big deal.  Don't get me wrong, she was still up early on day one and excited to go!

Anyway, we made our first day of school walk this year with our neighbors.  Clara is starting Kinder.  Henry, Aubrey and Clara have become so close and I love that we can start our day off walking with friends.  Henry is just bummed he doesn't get to stay. I'm hoping that means he'll be ready to stay next year!

Here's to another great year!

CHAMPS

I just realized I never posted about Aubrey's championship swim meet (CHAMPS).  It was held at the UT swim Center.  I hadn't been there since I was a kid, and it's just as impressive as I remember.  We had been watching the Olympic Trials, and it was fun to see some familiar names up on the wall.

Aubrey didn't seem too phased by the surroundings. She happily went with her age group down to the pool deck.  Unlike other meets, only the age group parent volunteer is allowed with the girls down on deck since there is limited space and so many teams.  I have to admit, I didn't like that one bit.  I kept worrying she would miss her heat, or that she wouldn't like the way her swim cap fits, or that she would forget to eat or drink.  Yes, I have control issues.  I just wanted her to have a good experience.  I had heard some nightmare stories about kids loosing it because of the noise, etc.

Anyway, we waited up in the stands for the meet to start.  I kept hearing the call for the 6 and under relay, but I did not see Aubrey's group going to line up.  They called "last call" and I still didn't see them.  I was certain that the age group parents couldn't hear the call and she was going to miss her very first event.  Finally, I saw them rushing over to their lanes.  I spotted Aubrey and then I noticed Coach Sandy was down on her level giving what appeared to be a pep talk.

 I said to Brian..."Is Aubrey crying?  It looks like something is wrong?" Then we both decided I was wrong.  No way was she panicking.  She never does that before swimming.  Aubrey was swimming the 2nd leg of the relay and Coach Sandy was still talking with her as the first swimmer was making her way to Aubrey.

 Right on time, Aubrey dove in and swam.  Whew, I thought... she's fine.  Then she just stopped, treaded some water and started again.  Very unlike her.  Right after she touched the wall, I say Coach Sandy pull her out of the water and CARRY her back to her age group.  Then I was sure something was wrong.  I rushed down the the bottom of the bleachers where I could yell to her.  Coach saw me and told me to come down.  She met me with a pass to come on deck. Poor Aubrey was hyperventilating.  Well... it turns out she had tripped on something on the way to the ready bench and busted up her toe.  Of course, there was blood, and with blood comes a panic from her and the UT pool staff.  They told her she HAD to have it bandaged or she couldn't swim.  Well, those of you who know Aubrey know the girl can't stand band-aids.  Aubrey was freaking out over a bandage on her toe, not the actual injury.  Coach Sandy told her if she swam, she would take that silly bandage off the minute she got out of the pool.  And so she did. She snuck a pair of scissors over to her and cut it off.  As if Coach Sandy didn't have anything else to think about!!!  Just one more reason we love her.

Anyway,  I was so proud of her for swimming that relay, even if the drama was a little overkill.  I think that is when I realized that the Champs meet was in fact a little overwhelming for her.  But she calmed down quickly as I held her. Coach told me just to stay with her.  She went on to win her freestyle heat. Then, she blew her backstroke heat away.  She didn't get a heat ribbon or the 1st place time though.  At champs, they use the real timers on the bulkhead of the pool.  Aubrey had never had to touch a specific place before and she didn't hit in on the right spot, so of course, the time didn't stop right away.  We didn't care.  I was just so proud of her for swimming.

We are all a bit sad that the swim season is over.  It was so much fun and I loved seeing Aubrey so excited about something.  Way to go girl!

I put all three races together in this clip.  I just realized you can't see the first race at all.  Oh well. I had to reduce the size so blogger would post it.